I have been reading an excellent book for anyone pursuing creative endeavors, The War of Art, by Steven Pressfield. In it he focuses on our war with resistance, and that includes this truth: : “Most of us have two lives. The life we live and the unlived life within us. Between the two stands resistance.” Can I just say I have known resistance as a worthy adversary for so much of my life, and I bet you have too. I have known callings to leave the life I had been living and to enter a new life. And that meant learning to “Let love rule.”
Then he spoke to what I am experiencing right now. I am up writing at 4 a.m. I am up because we are going through some terribly difficult times. And here in the middle of it I needed to come Home, to return to the Source of my life, being, and service in the world. I went to bed unusually early from exhaustion. And now I am up for some “me” time. Whenever I get drained from caring for the world I must stop, walk away, and return Home to just be with my Source. This is essential if I am to work through my resistance to realizing who I am and fulfilling my calling.
Pressfield says this, which speaks to me right now: “Late at night have you experienced a vision of the person you might become, the work you could accomplish, the realized being you were meant to be?” To this I say, “yes I have” and “yes I know right now who that is.” How do I know? I am listening to a delighted voice in my soul which responds to opportunities to share the inner sanctuary with others, through writing and personal contact. When I write these blogs, which will help craft my next book, I hear that delight.
This week I am also experiencing my soul’s delight from another source. I was asked to facilitate an initial meditation training for some doctors and staff of our local Ochsner hospitals. The invitation is to see if this might unfold into some ongoing training through an Integrative Medicine committee. When asked, my soul exulted and filled with excitement which transcends the dark days we are going through. In the clearest possible message my soul responded with “yes, this is what I am here for.” My soul knows “the realized being I am meant to be.”
Resistance will try to distort this calling. It will create obstacles, finding many ways to try and sabotage the whole project. But here is the thing: I was born to find the inner sanctuary in myself and share that with others! I have become a professional meditation teacher. I do receive a little salary to answer this calling, (hence the “professional” part), but I do it for the love of being who I am and bringing that into the world.
Answering this calling means risking that others will disapprove or dislike how I lead. But a professional takes the risk, steps out into the real world, shares the gift from the deeps of our souls, and lets the chips fall where they may. We do not get attached to outcomes. We just do our work right now. We know we are not the source of the gift anyway. We are simply saying “yes” to the real Source of our personal giftedness: “Yes, You can use me as a vessel, to bless the world as You see fit.” And this includes facing the resistance, everything it throws at us to defeat us and prevent our service of the world.
Join me today as we practice realizing the beings we are by surrendering to the Source, no matter what resistance throws at us: “Spirit of the living God, fall afresh on me. Melt me. Mold me. Fill me. Use me.”
For more stories like this see Monks in the World: Seeking God in a Frantic Culture.