I learned about heartbreak
in conversation with Sister Jane,
my spiritual director.
In sharing how hard it is to leave
when he says he wants me to live with him,
I began to cry.
“I wish you didn’t have to leave,”
“Maybe you can be a policeman
and work with my dad,
so you can be here all the time.”
Leaving him breaks my heart every time.
This is how it was every morning
when I had to leave my son too,
heading off to work as the family provider.
The two heartbreaks are the same.
Sister Jane asked me to stay in that place
and to see if God was somehow there.
We grew silent.
My tears softened. My nose ran.
At first, I only felt my deep longing.
A nudge came inside after several minutes:
“We long for you too.”
The divine voice wanted me to know
My longing for my son and grandson-
is the same
as the Trinity longing for me.
And there was a clear sense
That this is true with all of us:
“We long for each of you.
Our longing is your longing.”
Knowing this changes things,
as I stand before each of my spiritual communities,
and feel the heartbreak of love
with my beloved family and friends.
Now I know
I am being longed for,
as I long for,
and so are we all.
The heartbreak reveals the Love.